Thu Nov 15, 10:05 PM ET

CLIO, Mich. - A police officer checking on a truck that got stuck in the mud at a city park was startled to find a 13-year-old boy behind the wheel. The boy's father, who was sitting in the passenger seat, told police he had had too much to drink and let his son drive. The boy had been drinking, too, police said.

"(The boy) even said he didn't want to drive because he was too drunk," McLellan told The Flint Journal for a story published Thursday.

Click here for the rest of the story on yahoo take that google hehehe

You know how some news storys just make you laugh even though they arent meant to. Well this story is one of them , maybe ive got the mentality of a thirteen year old boy or maybe i just have a dirty mind who knows. Any way it seems some guy is suing the energy drink maker Boost Plus because it gave him a raging boner that just wouldnt go away. I guess now we know what the plus is in Boost Plus dont we. Now first of all im thinking this is the greatest advertisement any company would want, think of what it will do for sales. A drink that gives you a hard on that wont go away, hell i think ive gotten at least 20 spam e-mails a day for similar products. Heres a quote from the article:

"Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside"

Reading that got a big Beavis and Butthead like huh huh woods got morning wood huh huh. Seriously am i not supposed to snicker about that? "Woods' lawyer did not return telephone calls for comment Tuesday." That had images of a giant pecker wearing a suit trying to dial a phone to call them back. The hospital visits and surgery are nothing compared to the crap he is going to get from his friends.

Ok the title of the story is really "Man breaks world hot dog eating contest record" but come on im not one to sugar coat it. America have we really sunk so low that we award people for over eating? There is a national eating contest circuit for gods sake, anyway this dumbass ate 59 hotdogs in twelve minutes and for this he won a free trip to New York, a year's supply of hot dogs and a $250 gift card to the mall. So lets see screwing up his intestinal lining , stomach, etc is worth a little over a grand to him. But hey he does get to walk around with his head held high and say " i can take more wieners in my mouth then anyone else in the world in record time." Maybe that might get him out of a speeding ticket some day like it did for Barbie Cummings.

Here's the full story:

http://www.zeenews.com/znnew/articles.asp?aid=375043&ssid=204&sid=LIF

oh and just for giggles i did a google face recognition search for the face of "wiener eater" and this guy did come up third he was beat out by number 1 some chick and this guy number 2 but fifth place came up as Marsha Brady. Id heard rumors about what went on the set but i never would have believed it was true.

This gets even better i did a search for the news story and came across the complete recording of the call to 911, click here to listen to it. I cant beleive the operator is actually not laughing her ass off hell when i first read it i laughed so damn hard everyone around me thought i was high. Here the full story on it.

Im not sure if everyone has heard about it but a Tennesee state trooper is accused of not arresting a lady in exchange for oral sex. Now maybe this makes me a pig or maybe this makes me a realist, but i think most men can understand this guy. He is a tennessee state trooper out late at night looking for speeders, drunk drivers, or anybody else he can harass. Then he pulls over a car with this cute 21 year old that just happens to be buzzing and has a few of her illegal happy pills with her. Not only is she cute and semi stoned but low and behold she is none other then porn star "Barbie Cummings". Is it just me or is this how a lot of porn movies start? Thats the magic porno recipe: young girl late night, man in power or a pizza guy mix together with some cheesy music and instant porno.

Looking at this guy im going to guess this was his once in a life time chance that something like this would happen. Im not saying that justifies any abuse of power but hey he wasnt married and she offered. She even posted how she wanted to do it again the next time she was in the area, so im guessing she didnt develop a deep emotional scar. The tropper still gave her the speeding ticket he just didnt clog up our courts with another pill head that will do nothing more then learn about newer drugs while in jail. He saved us some tax dollars and got a priceless memory , no harm no foul right?

Theres one thing that i noticed the news sources have overlooked in this little matter, the fact good ole inoccent Barbie is milking this for all its worth. ( pun intended ) Do a web search for Barbie Cummings and see if you what you find, other then her website you really dont find much except for news about this. Prior to her posting this on her blog she was a nameless porn actress and now she has her 15 minutes of internet fame. When the web hits started going up on her site she pulled the blog, the pics, and the video and it was replaced with a porn site listing a bunch of other porn stars so they too could bask in the glory of this news story.

Marital Disclaimer: note to Wife please notice i mentioned the officer wasnt married, had he been married it would have been different.

While i was reading this the song "real American hero" from the bud light advertising campaign started playing in my head. I dont think this man needs to be charged i think he needs to be applauded! Two obvious questions need to be asked "how did he get drunk in the first place?" And "which 5% of him still works?" I think i know the answer to the second question given his destination.

Possibly the strangest traffic offence ever in Spain

Drivers were surprised to see a motorised bed travelling along the motorway in Ferrol

The Spanish newspaper Ideal Gallego reports today on one of the strangest traffic offences ever to be seen in Spain.

It happened last Friday when drivers on the motorway in Ferrol were surprised to see a disabled man travelling along the road in his motorised bed.

The paper says that 42 year old Antonio Navarro, who is 95% disabled, and who drives and controls his motorised bed with his mouth, had got drunk and was intending to visit ‘Jade’ a local whorehouse, but took a wrong turning off a local roundabout.

Police finally stopped him at 9pm after he had travelled some 10 kilometres along the motorway. Once he had taken the wrong exit he decided to continue along the road so as not to put other drivers in danger. Antonio told the paper that signs should be improved on the roundabout and across the town.

'Cocaine' drink is pulled from shelves

Turns out its just another one of those crappy sweet tart water flavored energy drinks which is what i figured it was. Seems the FDA had a little problem with naming it cocaine , thought it might mislead consumers. Does the FDA not have anything better to do? I love the company spokespersons rebuttal ....

Quote "Of course, we intended for Cocaine energy drink to be a legal alternative the same way that celibacy is an alternative to premarital sex," Ivey said. "It's not the same thing and no one thinks it is."

I would have to say thats a pretty nice way of saying stop bothering me dumbass its a name. How much money was spent on the committee that was formed to decide if calling a drink "Cocaine" would mislead consumers? This just yet again confirms my belief that the percentage of dumbasses in the world is on the rise. Just imagine how many dealers out there are relieved to get their customer bas back now that this drinks been pulled from the shelves.

I just did a quick search and you junkies can still get this stuff while supplies last on Amazon by clicking here Cocaine Energy Drink - Stronger then 3 red Bulls Get the Energy you need / 12 pack

Ok, first of all i didnt know a job like this existed and second of all what is this guy bitching about? He got paid to get drunk on a dialy basis! his job was to drink beer for 8 hours a day. The only thing i would have bitched about is that 3.2 pints a day wasnt enough! Next thing you know junkies will be suing their dealers. All i know is there is a job opening out there for me somewhere....

On a side note how the hell did this guy get home from work everyday?

SAO PAULO, Brazil - A Brazilian court has ordered local brewer Ambev to pay 100,000 reals (US$49,400; euro36,400) to an alcoholic beer taster who drank about a liter and a half (3.2 pints) of beer each day. ADVERTISEMENT

The unidentified employee alleged that the company did not provide the health measures needed to keep him from developing alcoholism, a labor court in the Rio Grande do Sul state said in a statement Friday.

The employee said in his lawsuit that for more than a decade, he drank between 16 and 25 small glasses of beer during his eight-hour shifts at the company

The employee said he also received a bottle of beer after each shift.